


Alana Comes to the Rescue

by GentlyMorbid



Series: The Slightly Less Average Lives of Alana and Margot Verger-Bloom [4]
Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: But very fluffy too, F/F, Half and Half, very angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 03:46:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5612755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GentlyMorbid/pseuds/GentlyMorbid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Margot is having a bad night. Will she risk letting Alana in?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alana Comes to the Rescue

Margot sighed heavily, as she lay in bed. She had been feeling fine for the past few days, surprisingly, but she couldn’t deny that she had felt her urges slowly revealing themselves over that time, little by little. When they were small, she could outright ignore them but they were dangerous if left unchecked. She had been wide awake for hours, feeling the tension creep back into the core of her being.

Part of her welcomed this return to form and had missed the feeling in its absence. That part of Margot would always feel out of control without her instinct to hurt herself. The other part of her was strangely apathetic most of the time and never felt guilty about engaging in self-harm, unless she got caught, which was a very rare occurrence but had proven costly a couple of months ago when Alana had walked in on her.

Margot knew it had been a bad decision to not inform Alana that she was feeling like this, but even with the aftermath of their conversation and Alana affirming her support, she still didn’t want to worry her. She had dealt with this herself for years and Alana already worried enough about Margot without added stress on her behalf.

Usually, Margot could distract herself somehow, forcing her urges to the very back of her mind until they eventually managed to worm their way back to the forefront. Nevertheless, by two thirty in the morning, she was past the point where distraction would work on her.

The urges suffocated Margot, physically and mentally. When she closed her eyes, all she could see was blood. When she breathed, her chest felt tight and her body started to shake. Thin beads of sweat appeared on her forehead, as she struggled to refrain from getting up.

She wanted to hurt herself desperately; to rid herself of the emotional turmoil that was being caused. True, nothing had occurred to spur her downward spiral, but nothing _had_ to happen. The need was always there and waiting to be satisfied. It was like an overly clingy friend, Margot decided. One that you liked well enough when you were with them, but when you weren’t, it got invasive.

She tossed and turned, gripping her bedsheets with such ferocity that her knuckles were white. She couldn’t do it. She had no choice. She would always be like this, and she would be better off if she just got it over with.

Next to Margot, Alana’s sleeping figure shifted. Margot tensed, hoping she was still asleep, but to no avail. Alana blinked her weary eyes, looking at the bedside clock before gazing at Margot, “How come you’re still awake, hon? It’s almost three in the morning.”

Margot tried to make herself smaller, hoping she would shrink into the bed. Alana turned on the light, obviously noting her fiancé’s discomfort. When she looked at Margot, Alana radiated concern and put her palm over her love’s forehead, “Margot, you’re so pale! What’s wrong? Are you alright?”

Margot replied with clenched teeth, her urges nearly overtaking her, “I’m…I just need to…” Her breathing started becoming more rapid, while Alana tried to make sense of what was wrong.

“Margot! Margot, I need you to look at me and tell me what’s going on!” Alana spoke firmly, but calmly. Margot started crying and gasped out between breaths, “I...Alana, I need to… It’s too much… for me.”

Alana knew what Margot meant and was heartbroken. She understood, from an intellectual perspective, what Margot was going through and how it affected her. She had even walked in on her in the act. But that didn’t mean it was any less difficult or painful to hear the words come out of Margot’s mouth. However, that didn’t mean that she knew what Margot was going, mentally or physically.

Alana wished and prayed that she could alleviate Margot’s pain, but she knew that all she could do was try to get her through the worst of her urges without letting her succumb to them, no matter how much Margot wanted, or needed, to hurt herself.

Alana spoke softly, “What do you need me to do, darling?” Margot replied, just as softly, “Don’t let me get up. If I… if I get up, I’ll lose control. I-I can’t let y-you see me… like this again.”

Alana started crying softly, although she made sure that Margot couldn’t see her tears. She had no idea that Margot was affected that badly. She’d only seen a couple of cases of people struggling with self-harm this badly in her entire professional career, but this was, perhaps, even worse. She resolved to not let Margot out of the bed because she didn’t doubt Margot’s words for a second. She really was struggling and all Alana could do was hold her and let her cry and thrash against her.

Ten minutes had passed, wherein Margot’s crying had softened, and Alana had relaxed, before Margot got up, pushing Alana to the side and off her before whispering “I’m sorry” and heading to their desk. Alana recovered quickly and got out of bed, grabbing Margot by the hand and turning her around to face her.

Margot looked into Alana’s eyes, “I’m sorry, Alana. I can’t fight this anymore. It’s useless. You should leave. I have to take care of myself.” The ironic choice of words made Alana crumble inside and she starting crying heavily. She spoke through heaving sobs, “You aren’t taking care of yourself, Margot! You’re hurting yourself! You’re hurting me!” As those words left her lips, Alana immediately regretted saying them. She had no right to make this about her, but her desperation had gotten the best of her. However, it seemed to have gotten through to Margot.

Margot paused at these words, “I’m sorry to have dragged you into this, Alana. But it’s part of me and I can’t deny it. It has to be done. I don’t have a choice!” Alana spoke up, fiercely, “Yes, you do, Margot! You can choose me! I’m here for you! I love you!”

Alana could see the turmoil in Margot’s eyes, as she tried and tried with all her might to come back to Alana, but it was no use. Margot shook her head sadly and let go of Alana. In utter desperation, Alana threw herself around Margot, unwilling to let go. After a few minutes of struggling feebly, Margot gave up, and sank to the floor with her princess.

As Margot and Alana were intertwined on the floor, Margot spoke up, haltingly, “I’m no good, Alana. I’ll always be like this. You should leave me before it’s too late. I’m not good for you.”

Alana grasped Margot’s chin, gazing her to the eyes that she had come to love, “Why would you say that, Margot? You’re perfect for me… We can deal with this together, I’ve told you before. You’ve been fighting it and I’m going to help you because I love you!”

Margot looked ashamed, “I love you, too, it’s just… I can’t turn away from that part of me. It’s always there and always will be. Most of the time, I don’t fight it because there’s no point!” Alana reassured her, “Sweetheart, do you remember telling me the first time I found you, that you hadn’t hurt yourself in almost a year? That proves that it’s possible to at least try to fight it. Even if it’s always there, I’ll still love you and fight with you. Because you’re my queen.” Margot chuckled softly at the pet name. “And you’re my princess,” Margot replied.

Not another word was spoken as both women slowly fell asleep on the floor, holding each other gently, as if all the troubles in the world had been washed away. They were with each other and that would suffice for a lifetime.

 

* * *

 

Margot opened her eyes slowly, as she woke up, feeling refreshed. She lifted her head in mild confusion as she realised that she was not on the carpeted ground of her bedroom, but in the bed she shared with her fiancé. No sooner had she realised, Alana walked in with a smile on her face, “Good morning, dear.” Noticing her confused expression, Alana inquired, “What’s wrong, Margot?” Margot replied, “Nothing, really. I was just wondering how I got into bed. I don’t remember moving.”

Alana chuckled, “Oh, Margot. That’s easily answered. I carried you there.” Margot froze for a split second, before asking slowly, “What do you mean, you _carried_ me?” Alana cocked her head, “I mean exactly that. Here, I’ll show you!” With that, she strode over to the bed and picked up Margot, bridal style, just as Margot was often fond of doing to Alana.

As Margot laughed in disbelief and joy, Alana joined in and spun her around. Margot laughed even harder, as she realised that, somehow, her fiancé had gained an enormous amount of strength during the night. Alana suddenly dropped her onto the bed, making her bounce and squeal in a manner unbefitting of the Verger Heiress.

Margot was met with a kiss from Alana and decided that she would enjoy this new turn of events and smiled slyly. If Alana thought she could get one over her and start carrying her everywhere, she had another thing coming. She would show Alana just who carried who. Margot flipped Alana over onto her back, to a suggestive gasp.

Margot just kept smiling, but Alana must have noticed her competitive look, as she muttered a small “uh oh”. Margot wasted no time in rolling Alana off the bed, and with a soft grunt of annoyance, Alana hit the ground softly and glared at Margot in mock anger. “What game are you playing now, _Mar?”_ Margot joined her on the ground, peppering kisses on her neck, which Alana clearly approved of.

After a few minutes of getting Alana hot under the collar, and sufficiently distracted, Margot made her move. Alana found herself in Margot’s strong arms, in the air, as she realised her ploy. Cursing inwardly, Alana thought of the easiest way to get out of Margot’s grip, and that was to whisper into Margot’s ear. The whispered words had an effect on her captor that made the usually unflappable Margot blush and almost drop her, which Alana grinned at.

Margot had no idea if Alana would follow through on her threat, but shocking her had seemed to be the intention, which was going to be paid back in full. With Alana in her arms, she jogged down the stairs of their bedroom, making sure that the ride down was as uncomfortable as possible for her princess, while ensuring her complete safety. Alana pouted at Margot, which almost made her stop to look at how adorable her beloved was being. Shaking her head, she starting jumping down the stairs slowly one at a time, instead, making sure to jolt Alana every time.

As Margot reached the couch that Applesauce was on, the dog barked excitedly and made a running leap into Margot’s arms, thus, landing right on Alana, causing a sudden exhalation of air from both of them, toppling all three of them to the ground and knocking Margot unconscious.

 

* * *

 

Margot awoke in her bed to kisses from an unidentified source. She opened her eyes to see Applesauce’s nose a few centimetres from her eyes. Making the most of the opportunity, as well as wanting to hug someone, she grabbed Applesauce, who jumped, not having realised that her mother was awake. As Applesauce acquiesced to the hug with a huff, Alana walked in to the bedroom, dressed for the day.

She smiled, noticing her two favourite girls were awake and happy, judging by Margot’s smile and the steady thumping of Applesauce’s tail on the bed. Alana scolded Applesauce good-naturedly, “Applesauce, what have I told you about jumping on the bed, missy?” Applesauce looked at her with sad eyes, clearly intent on manipulating her way into staying on the bed with Margot. Alana looked to Margot for support and found her making the exact same expression. Sighing, she sat down on the bed next to her girls and turned to Alana, “How are you feeling, Margot, dear?”

Margot replied, her voice slightly muffled by Applesauce’s body, “I’m fine, but I had the weirdest dream.” As if reading from a script, she asked Alana, while anticipating the answer, “I was just wondering how I got into bed. I don’t remember moving.” Alana smiled, “Oh, Margot. That’s easily answered. I carried you there.” Margot froze for a split second, an eerie feeling of déjà vu washing over her, before asking slowly, “What do you mean, you _carried_ me?”

Alana smiled even wider, but nowhere near the nightmarish proportions that Margot’s smile could reach, “I meant exactly that. Unfortunately, it was just a onetime spur of the moment thing, otherwise I’d show you, but I don’t think my body would appreciate it, even if you aren’t really heavy.”

Margot gaped in amazement, “You mean you, of all people, managed to pick me up off the floor and carry me? I would have thought that would have been very dangerous!” Alana replied, “Well, I thought about it, but only after I’d tucked you into bed. It didn’t really aggravate my body much, but I decided to stay on the safe side and took a hot bath anyway. I’m not feeling any painful repercussions at all, so don’t you worry, Margot.”

“So that’s why I had that dream” Margot said in understanding. Alana asked, “What dream?” Margot spoke, “The dream where you carried me to bed.” Alana nodded, “Sounds like a pretty interesting dream, if you ask me.” Margot pursed her lips slightly, “You said you took a hot bath. Are you up for another one? With company?” Alana smiled, as she extended a hand to Margot, “Of course. I’d love company.”

Margot roused Applesauce, who had fallen asleep on top of her, and blinked blearily at her. At Margot’s urging, Applesauce hopped off the bed, going over to Alana to say hello. Margot grabbed Alana’s hand before gracelessly tripping on and falling onto the floor. Margot’s ears rang with laughter, as she blushed with embarrassment, but soon joined in herself. As she got up, she was met with a bone crushing hug. It seemed Alana still hadn’t quite gotten over the shock of a few hours ago, but Margot was determined to ease her worry.

“So” Margot quipped, “How about that bath?”


End file.
